Scream With Me

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Pathologist Warren Chapin (horror icon Vincent Price, star of way too many classic flicks to list here) is investigating the effects of fear on the human body. Eventually he discovers that we all have a parasitic, centipede-like creature living on our spines, which feeds on fear…and can actually kill us unless we scream. He extracts one from the corpse of a deaf-mute woman who was unable to scream…What if the tingler were to escape…or to fall into the wrong hands (such as Chapin’s diabolical wife)? Produced by William Castle, the P.T. Barnum of cinema, The Tingler is a masterpiece of showmanship and black humor that I’ve loved since I was a kid. I just wish I had grown up back when it first came out, so I could’ve experienced “Percepto”, Castle’s ultimate screen gimmick. Some theater seats were rigged with a vibrating device to give certain audience members a “tingle”. I really miss the golden age of exploitation. Advertising was so ingenious back then. All that hyperbolic ballyhoo was really exciting…

 

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I Saw You Shine

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A couple of hard-boiled yeggs (one played by Ed Wood regular Kenne Duncan) and their lushed-up moll kidnap a wealthy society dame and lam out in the cabin of a local geologist (Robert Clarke, The Hideous Sun Demon). Much snappy, biting dialogue ensues. Meanwhile, a blonde outer space babe (burlesque dancer Shirley Kilpatrick, rumored to be Shirley Stoler of The Honeymoon Killers) lands in the woods and slowly…very slowly…makes her way to the cabin. She’s a peaceful emissary but the kicker is she’s highly radioactive and anyone who gets too close to her drops dead. What a waste, cuz she’s truly hot stuff in her skintight spacesuit and high heels, with her Vampira eyebrows. By the way, director Ronnie Ashcroft was a friend of Ed Wood…and this flick is almost as guffawful as Wood’s films…

 

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Your Face Is Momentary

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A hurricane strands the crew of a small cruise ship on an uncharted island with an insufferably spoiled heiress (blonde bombshell Irish McCalla, who played Sheena on T.V. in the 50’s). They immediately suspect that they are not alone on the island…and soon discover a tribe of women with pin-up bodies and gnarly faces…the result of fiendish experiments conducted by a Mengele-esque Nazi scientist, who instantly takes a shine to Irish. Can the Captain save Irish from becoming the ultimate “butterface”? This low rent Dr Moreau rip is an absolute hoot…

 

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Noir Blonde

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It’s Body Heat meets To Catch A Thief as bored rich housewife Christine (Simone Griffeth of Death Race 2000 and Swamp Girl) falls for a dashing cat burglar…and before the postman has a chance to ring twice, her husband ends up dead. Well-trodden Noir territory, yes, but Griffeth is every bit as sultry as Lana Turner…or Barbara Stanwyck in Double Indemnity and as cool as the frostiest Hitchcock blonde…and her sex scenes produce more steam than a sauna…

 

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Requiem For A Scheme

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Imagine for a moment that Ed Wood had been scripted by Paul Schrader and directed by Martin Scorsese and you’ll have some idea of what to expect from The Creep Behind The Camera, the often blackly comic, sometimes seriously disturbing tale of filmmaker A.J. Nelson’s attempt to make “the biggest, best monster movie” of all time and the hilariously inept trash classic result, The Creeping TerrorStar Josh Phillips is enthralling, ridiculous, repugnant, transparent and terrifying as the psychopathic grifter A.J Nelson, a man whose true life story is even more unbelievable than the lies he spun…

 

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Everything Goes

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The late 60’s/early 70’s were a time of unprecedented openness in both cinema and the culture at large…artistically, politically, sexually…and few films capture this exciting time quite like Radley Metzger’s Score. The plot centers on a couple of couples: swinging Elvira (Claire Wilbur) and Jack (Gerald Grant) and newlyweds Betsy (the lovely Lynn Lowry of Shivers, The Crazies and I Drink Your Blood) and Eddie (Cal Culver, Boys In The Sand). Betsy and Eddie have no idea what’s in store for them when they agree to spend a weekend with Elvira and Jack in the French Riviera. See, Elvira and Jack have made a wager to seduce and bed Betsy and Eddie. Standard sex comedy plot, right? Except the objective is for Elvira to seduce Betsy and Jack to seduce Eddie. A free love free-for-all ensues. The couples generate so much heat that you’d never guess that Lowry and Wilbur intensely disliked each other off camera. Oh and by the way…Jack and Eddie made it onscreen for real…

 

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Experimental Jet Set

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This early effort from erotic auteur Radley Metzger finds bored socialite Leslie (Anne Arthur) and her husband Logan (Charlie Hickman) trying to one-up each other with escalating infidelities. Metzger was always a boundary-pusher…and this is one of the most audacious films of the mid-60’s. It’s also a cool 60’s time capsule: the mod fashions. The sky-high hair…and especially the theme music Eaffin’ And Surfin’, which was also used in Ray Dennis Steckler’s Rat Pfink A Boo Boo and Russ Meyer’s Mondo Topless. If you like your smut with a bit of wit, a twist of kink and a touch of class, seek out The Alley Cats and other Radley Metzger films…

 

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