No One’s Little Girl



Statuesque Lana Clarkson (Deathstalker, Fast Times At Ridgemont High) stars as Amathea, whose village is slaughtered and her husband-to-be kidnapped on her wedding day. She sets out on a mission of rescue and revenge with her best friend Estrild (future director Katt Shea). I thoroughly enjoyed this film, due in no small part to Lana’s performance. She belongs in the Pantheon of ass-kicking females. And man, she was a stunning beauty. If only she hadn’t met Phil Spector…




Ronin Free



This particular sword and sorcery flick owes more to Yojimbo than Conan, with David Carradine as Kain, a mercenary maneuvering between two rival warlords. Eventually he teams up with the sorceress of the title (Maria Socas, also in Deathstalker II) and decides to fight for what’s right, rather than who offers the most money. It’s all very deadly serious…but there’s a goofy humanoid reptile, an even goofier tentacled monster…and I would be remiss if I failed to mention the dancer with four breasts…



The Two Who Are One




O.K., so there’s actually no sorceress in this flick…but it does have plenty of magick shenanigans, a pair of identical twins ( Playboy playmates Leigh and Lynette Harris) and…a FLYING LION…with BAT WINGS!!! What more do ya want? Anyway, the Harris twins play Mara and Mira, who have exceptional fighting skills and a Corsican Brothers-like empathic bond, which they will need to battle their evil sorcerer father who wants to sacrifice them to the gods. Produced by Roger Corman in the wake of the blockbuster success of Conan The Barbarian, written by Jim Wynorski (Chopping Mall, Screwballs) and directed by Jack Hill ( Spider Baby, Coffy). Corman and Hill had some creative differences and Hill left the picture, which was then radically re-cut to nearly half its original length.  Jack Hill is one of my all-time favorite directors, so I would love to see his original cut…but the shortened version is still pretty solid…