Waiting For The Hammer To Fall

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Blood And Lace…This little flick right here is the sleaziest, sickest, most twisted film ever rated PG…Now, hopefully most of you sickies are old enough to remember those days when a PG was the rating to shoot for if you wanted to reach a mass audience…and it was often staggering what filmmakers could get away with in a PG film…perhaps because back then they gave kids a little bit more credit for being able to handle harsh realities…These days, just smoking gets you a PG-13…

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Anyway, Blood And Lace is the story of Ellie (Melody Patterson, Wrangler Jane on F-Troop) a sweet, headstrong teenage girl who seems to have been cursed from birth. In the opening scene, her parents are bludgeoned to death in their sleep with a hammer and their house set on fire…Ellie survives, and is placed in an orphanage run by the creepy Mrs. Deere (noir vamp Gloria Grahame) and her slimy henchman Kredge (Len Lesser, Uncle Leo on Seinfeld). Strangely, all the orphans are teens…probably because showing smaller children enduring abuse (and murder) would’ve jeopardized that PG. Ellie wants to escape even before she finds out what a house of horrors the place is, because she wants to find her real father (see, her mother was a hooker and her stepdaddy was a pimp. Toldja she was cursed from birth.) Meanwhile, a detective (Vic Tayback, Mel from Alice) with a less than professional interest in Ellie is investigating her parents’ murder…and Ellie begins to think that maybe the hammer killer is back to finish the job…

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