Mutations Of Today

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Tromaville High is ridiculously close to the local nuclear power plant…and a radioactive waste leak turns the Honor Society into a punked-up mutant biker gang called the Cretins…The Leader, Spike (Robert Prichard) dresses like he’s in Judas Priest. Pete (Gary Schneider) is his kilted, Rapunzel-braided sidekick. Gonzo (Brad Dunker) is a savage covered in bizarre tribal markings. Joe (Chris McNamee) is a (girl?) with a gnarly facial scar and Hitler mustache. And wait till you see “Lumpy”…but my fave (and many other fans’ fave) Cretin is Muffey (Theo Cohan) the P.J. Harvey-lookalike ballbusting domme who says “God bless America, limpdick.” The two good kids, Warren (Gilbert Brenton) and Chrissy (Janelle Brady) spawn a terrifying, slimy monster that keeps getting bigger, meaner, and slimier….and has a weird, echoey shriek that sounds like a Muppet throwing up. Oh, and the Smithereens show up at an indoor beach party to do their swingin’ tune “Much Too Much” before it all goes to hell…

cretins

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