Darkness Risible

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It’s not every day that you run across a remake of a movie that was never made. Such is the case with Teenage Exorcist. Originally conceived by Fred Olen Ray,it was to star John Carradine,Cameron Mitchell,and Dawn Wildsmith. Only a trailer’s worth of footage was shot. Then he handed the project over to Brinke Stevens to write the screenplay,and this version was directed by Grant Austin Waldman. (I’ve never heard of him either.) Dianne (Brinke) rents an old mansion dirt cheap…from Michael Berryman. (Wouldn’t that be red flag that you’ve just stepped into a horror movie?) Then the milk starts breathing,the lettuce bleeding…Glitchy fridge? Nope. The house is possessed. When Dianne goes from good two shoes to slinky,kinky vixen,her sister Sally (Elena Sahagun) and brother-in-law Mike (Jay Richardson) call up an old priest (Robert “Count Yorga” Quarry)…but as anyone who’s seen The Exorcist or Amityville Horror knows, exorcism is a young man’s game. So it’s up to pizza boy Eddie (comic actor Eddie Deezen,the Michael Caine of 80’s B-movies) to put the kibosh on the supernatural shenanigans. Not as funny as The Exorcist, but scarier than Repossessed…

 

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