This Is Bat Country


Mark Dentyne…er…Damon plays identical twin archaeologists…One pair of matching bookends different as night and day…One of whom is obsessed with finding the ring of the Nibelungen (y’see kids? This is what happens when you listen to that damn Wagner) so he hightails it to Transylvania and Dracula’s castle (yeah I know, the Nibelungen’s a German legend. Just go with it.) where he learns that both the castle and the ring are now owned by not ol’ Drac but Countess Erzebet Bathory (Rosalba Neri, Lady Frankenstein, Castle Of Fu Manchu). Still with me? I’m sure all you history buffs out there are having inaccuracy-induced palpitations right about now…Hang in there, you’ll be fine. We all know that Bathory was that wacky aristocrat whose beauty regimen included bathing in virgin blood, right? Well in this picture she’s an actual vampire…but don’t despair, sickies…There’s still a blood bath scene…and I can tell you that Ms. Neri looks scrumdiddlyumptious in red. The good news? She puts out on the first date. The bad news? If Damon wants the ring they have to get hitched. Will Damon’s twin brother arrive in time to rescue his impetuous sibling (and a handful of virgins)? What’s with the black hooded Satanist monk dudes and the big Telly Savalas-looking bodyguard or whatever? Why does everybody start laughing maniacally in the parlor scene? Extreme bat close-ups… Jump cuts that would startle Godard…whew! Every frame of this psychedelic head-scratcher will leave you thoroughly confused…but hey, it was made in the 70’s…Things didn’t have to make sense back then…



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