Everyone Wants A Piece Of Candy

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Money Is The Root Of All Happiness…so declares the Candy Snatchers theme song…and the bumper sticker which adorns the van used by the three creeps that kidnap sweet 16 year old Catholic schoolgirl Candy Philips (Susan Sennet, Big Bad Mama). And indeed it is greed and dreams of Easy Street that motivates coldblooded Jessie (Tiffany Bolling, Bonnie’s Kids, Kingdom Of The Spiders) her vicious sickie brother Alan (Brad David) and their conflicted cohort Eddy (Vincent Martorano) who seems to be the only one of the three (and one of the few in the whole movie) who possesses the slightest inkling of a conscience. In grand Noir/pulp tradition, Candy’s world is full of rat bastards. The kidnappers bury Candy alive and demand a fortune in diamonds from her jeweler patriarch (Ben Piazza…remember the rich guy in The Blues Brothers…the one John Belushi asks “How much for your women?” That’s him.) When daddy pulls a no show, the trio completely freak, scrambling to concoct a Plan B. They’re as inept as they are menacing…and often the most dangerous criminals are the ones who don’t know what they’re doing. Everything spirals out of control as Candy’s life hangs in the balance, her only hope being a toddler who witnesses it all…but cannot speak. Harrowing, perverse and blackly humorous, if you’re a Coen Brothers fan you’ll probably dig this flick…

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