The Rat Bastard Pack


First off, don’t worry…The New Kids has nothing whatsoever to do with a certain horrifying boy band of yesteryear. It’s just a forgotten movie by modern exploitation maestro Sean S. Cunningham. Sean (along with Wes Craven) stunned the drive-in and grindhouse world (which ain’t easy, lemme tellya) with the mercilessly vicious Last House On The Left (you remember, “To avoid fainting, keep repeating “It’s only a movie, only a movie…”) before lucking into one of the most lucrative and enduring movie franchises since James Bond, Friday The 13thThe New Kids has the pastel-sweatered look of an 80’s high school comedy and the feel of a good ol’ fashioned redneck revenge flick. It concerns two newly orphaned siblings (Lori Loughlin and some dude who kinda looks like Cameron Dye) who move in with their uncle who runs an amusement park, in a new town and new school. They immediately run afoul of a pack of skeevy, borderline psychotic bullies, led by James Spader, who slimes up the screen like the bastard son of Billy Zabka and Max Cady. (Still not quite as slimy as his turn in Pretty In Pink though). They engage in a game of stalkery cat and mouse which quickly escalates, culminating in a brutally violent showdown at the amusement park and a satisfying ending…with a just a little sick ironic twist that will appeal to all the exploiteers and carnies in the audience…


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